How to Use the Hero Instinct to Get What You Want: Six Easy Steps

Wondering how to trigger the hero instinct in your man? Read on if you want to learn how to make him feel like a hero, in six easy steps.

Do all men have a “hero instinct,” and enjoy playing the hero

You might be wondering if something is wrong with him (or if something is wrong with you) if you’re still waiting for your partner to save the day in your relationship.

However, this elusive instinct may not be what you thought it was.

No, your partner has no desire to dress in tights and a cape– this isn’t what you’re going to be reading about today!

If you’re tired of unfulfilling relationships and want a partner who understands you, keep reading below.

What Is The Hero Instinct?

A man’s need to feel wanted and to defend his loved ones is known as the hero instinct.

The phrase was first used by relationship expert James Bauer in his book His Secret Obsession.

According to Bauer, every man has a biological need to win your affection before falling in love with you.

Men want to know that you value and depend on them. 

He will feel more connected to you, more confident, and ultimately more eager to commit to your relationship if you make sure he feels you value and depend on him. 

Examples Of The Hero Instinct

Superman’s persona serves as one illustration of the hero urge

Even if it puts his own safety at risk, Superman is always prepared to put himself in danger to protect others.

One quality that distinguishes a hero is their selfless attitude.

Batman serves as a further illustration of the hero drive.

Batman is a vigilante who risks his life every night to keep Gotham City free from criminal activity. 

Despite the fact that he lacks superpowered abilities, his spirit and tenacity make him a force to be reckoned with.

Even those in our armed forces, who charge towards danger at their own risk to protect others, exhibit this trait.

There are countless heroes who show this magical instinct, and these are just a couple of instances.

Is The Hero Instinct Effective?

The heroic instinct is real and it does function. 

It’s based on the idea that we’re all built to react to specific cues that cause an intense desire to safeguard and take care of others.

It can have a significant impact on a man’s behavior and attitude to learn how to awaken his desire to play the hero.

Benefits Of The Hero Instinct For You And Your Relationship

For several reasons, your man’s sense of heroics is crucial

Men express their love in a variety of ways, so whenever you can, it’s important to help your partner in letting out his protective side. 

Asking him questions about himself and how he’s feeling at this point is a great idea. 

You’ll see that when his hero instinct emerges, he will be more honest with his feelings and emotions.

The hero instinct can also affect how your partner lives his entire life, including how he treats you, his friends, family, and even complete strangers!

Overall, he’ll be more eager to protect and assist those in need.

Six Ways To Trigger A Man’s Hero Instinct

1. Ask Him To Help You With It

Men enjoy having the chance to save you, no matter how big or tiny the problem is!

Get him to help you study for a test, open a jar, or rehearse your sales pitch.

When you’re in a pickle, seek his opinion.

Most men are aware of your complete self-assurance and ability to take care of yourself. 

So, by requesting their assistance, you are demonstrating your appreciation for their work and ideas.

2. Show Gratitude And Appreciation For Him

You can show your partner your thankfulness in a variety of ways throughout the day.

Offer him assistance with a challenging or tiresome task.

Give him a thoughtful present, whether it’s a thing or a memory.

Make sure he knows you understand him when he speaks to you.

By expressing your gratitude, you might make him feel important in the relationship.

Thank him for anything else he does for you, including opening doors and bringing you your favorite coffee.

Tell him how much he means to you and thank him for all the work he does to maintain your connection.

3. But Don’t Thank And Praise Him Too Much

While it is important to express gratitude, make sure you don’t overdo it.

If you take it too far, you may create the impression that you’re not self-sufficient, and need him to do everything for you.

4. Boost His Confidence – Especially In Front Of His Peers

Make an effort to acknowledge your man’s bravery in front of others when you notice it. 

If he receives praise for it, he will appreciate the extra attention and be far more inclined to behave that way again when other people are present.

5. Give Assurance

You should also express your gratitude to him for the things he does for you.

Many men have this instinct, but they occasionally struggle to show it because they are unsure of the behaviors that will win their lovers’ approval.

Tell him how much you value him when he gets you flowers, cooks you dinner, or does something thoughtful. 

Hold his hand, look him in the eyes, and say:

  • “You are such a joy to me.”
  • “This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”
  • “I look forward to seeing you every day.”
  • “You’re such a considerate partner.”

6. Encourage And Support Him

Stand firmly in your partner’s corner to demonstrate your support

By telling him you believe in him, and motivating him to concentrate on the positive parts rather than the challenges, you can help him in achieving his goals.

Offer your assistance and counsel, and be available if and when he requests it.

He will want to be there for you if you are there for him.

Your curiosity in your man will make him feel desired, whether he’s discussing his workday with you or talking about his interests.

Does The Hero Instinct Mean Being Primal And Instinctive?

This instinct is intuitive and fundamental.

Cavemen are the origins of men’s protective instincts. 

They always have a tendency for it.

It’s also true that because of a desire to live as a species, people have evolved to form monogamous relationships at a young age.

You might encourage his protectiveness, loyalty, monogamy, and sense of family by appealing to his instincts.

You’ll find that in healthy relationships, your man will be naturally protective.


An affectionate man will want to look out for you.

He’ll wish to protect you.

However, occasionally this sensation fades away since he doesn’t experience reciprocation, and he starts to believe that nothing he does is appreciated. 

He’s therefore more likely to wander off.

Of course, not every man is cut out to be a superhero! But nobody knows your husband or boyfriend like you do. 

Is he fundamentally a decent person, but the two of you are still having issues? The Bauer program is the one for you if your response to that question was “yes.”

All that it really implies is that the trigger on your man’s hero instinct hasn’t been pulled… yet.

Thanks for reading!

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